Stay True

People say alotta things. They say "forgive and forget","never let 'em see you sweat","live as if you're gonna die tomorrow & learn as if you'll live forever". I say,'follow your own rules,live your own life,and never let anyone control what you do or how u think'. I'm gonna do me and always stay true to myself no matter what!

Lies??? Nope.

My lies never get me in trouble because I don't tell them. My truth,however,is a different story!

Turn Back Time

So many people say that if they could turn back time,they would take back things they did because it didn't go right or because it hurt them and they're full of regret. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't erase any of it because at all shaped the person I am today and today- No One Can Break Me! #StrengthIsKey ♥ Full of strength & confidence,like every woman should be!

True Beauty

Being confident and smiling when everything is going wrong is strength. That doesn't mean crying and being vulnerable is weakness. Because being able to be all of these things,while always being the same you as have are and never losing yourself along the way is true beauty ♥

The Truth

I had never met anyone so broken as she,all while still loving who broke her with every little broken piece. Now she's free,as am I and our hearts are healing. To know that I helped, helped repair her wings,I'm proud of me. Although I miss my friend & I'm sad-I'm happy because,the better draw of the 2,is knowing that now she'll find someone who will truly deserve her as will I because we are.... The Truth! ♥- I <3 You Kam!

You Used to Shine so Bright to me....

When this first again,you shined as bright as the sun in my eyes. Now,its changing and you're appeal,you're allure is fading. I remember wondering,why on Earth someone would let you go...if things were the same with them as they are now with me,then I know exactly why. I wonder though,were they the same? Or am I just not important enough? I seem to get disregarded so easily. Why talk of plans if they never get followed? If they just get disregarded? If everyone else is more important? It hasn't been very long,but I think things are getting too comfortable,at least for you. I feel like I go out of my way-to call you,to see you,to help you,and I don't want to anymore. I want to be the one getting pursued. I deserve it. I deserve to feel special. Even more than that,I deserve to feel special because of you,that's what I want and I choose what's good for me and what I deserve. I deserve you. I actually probably deserve better but then again maybe I don't. Maybe I'm not worth more than this,more than being sad,feeling hurt,more than feeling lonely,neglected,more than being last on your list,being disregarded by you over and over. In the beginning,you shined so bright but now I look at you.and the light is getting dull. One day,sooner or later,that light will be out completely and I'll wondering what I was thinking. It's not like it would be the first time I was wrong and it definitely won't be the last time.

A Familiar Taste of Poison by Halestorm

Drink the wine, my darling, you said
Take your time, consume all of it
But the roses were only to drain my inspiration
The promises were spoiled before they left your lips and...

[CHORUS:]
I breathe you in again just to feel you
Underneath my skin, holding on to
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison

I tell myself that you're no good for me
I wish you well, but desire never leaves
I could fight this til the end
But maybe I don't want to win

[CHORUS]

I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober
I want you on my mind, in my dreams behind these eyes
And I won't wake up, no not this time.

[CHORUS]

A familiar taste of poison

*Great song...Gonna be my new addiction.

Looking for someone to blame...?

I see you're looking for someone to blame...well look else where sweet heart because the only person to blame is the person who looks back at you everytime you look in the mirror.

Some feelings of mine...

I'm getting tired of accepting "I'm sorry"s. Why don't you all just stop doing shit to say "I'm sorry" for...?

Honestly, why do we hurt the ones who we care about the most and the ones that care about us the most? Are we that blind? What makes us underestimate people's feelings the way we do?

If you can still manage to keep a smile on your face while everything around you is wrong and falling apart,that's the true definition of strength.

When life gets crazy,You should follow it.

If you wanna look away every time you see yourself in the mirror,that should definitely tell you that you need some fixing.

You could either be my next great thing or my next big mistake ♥ Your call.

You might be standing still but life is still going on as fast paced as ever 

Life is a crazy,fun,complicated,& sad ride but it's all worth it.

Having fun is the best distraction.


You can think what you want,I'm still going to be who I am.


You say you know me. You say you see me. I don't think you have the slightest clue.


I don't even have to try. I tell myself I'm better than you,never wondering why.


I can make you happy. You just have to let me.

Wrong...?

Could I really be wrong about him all along? I already broke some of my rules. "Don't get attached so fast."- Until I thought he was leaving,I didn't realize I was. "Don't fall so hard."- It was hard not to fall freely when all I saw was good,especially after such a long time of being lonely and lost-not feeling cared about. They keep telling me not to put him on a pedestal. Am I really putting him on a pedestal? I didn't think I was. I know he's not perfect. I don't even think I've seen his best yet. I think there's more. I think there's better. Am I wrong? Am I in denial? Or am I simply just hoping for too much? Could I be on my way to breaking two more of my rules? "Don't get my hopes to high." "Prepare yourself for the worst." What if it doesn't go the way I want...? Will I blame myself? I'll just look stupid once again I suppose. I want everything to go as planned but I have to start preparing myself. It just might not be in the cards for us. We might not end up being anything more than what we are now. Everything can fall apart tomorrow. I'll just hope it doesn't. I'll hope there's a future. I hope one day there'll be an us.

'The Trouble With Love Is' lyrics by Kelly Clarkson

Love can be a many splendid thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool ya every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

Now I was once a fool, it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

(The trouble with) The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

(The trouble with love is) The trouble with love, yeah
(It can tear you up inside) It can tear you up inside
(Make your heart believe a lie) Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride

(The trouble with love is)
It's in your heart
It's in your soul (doesn't care how fast you fall)
You won't get no control
(and you can't refuse the call)
See, you got no say at all

(The trouble with love is) Oh, yeah
(It can tear you up inside)
(Make your heart believe a lie) 

*This song means so much more to me now. I understand the words so much more now that I'm older.

Some quotes about love....

"Let’s get lost in a world where there are no tears, heartache, or opposition. A world where it’s just the two of us."

 "People who are meant to be together will always find their way back to each other. They may take detours in life, but they’re never lost."

"Don’t put off telling someone how you feel about them, bc every day that passes is another opportunity for them to meet someone else."

"Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

“Love means to commit yourself without guarantee.” 

"Love is not just looking at each other, it’s looking in the same direction too."

“That moment, when all you’ve ever dreamed of, even looks like it might be within reach. When everything is about to happen, who do you want beside you? That’s how you know who your supposed to be with.” 

“Respect is given. Disrespect is earned. Mistakes makes me human. Failure makes me stronger. Love keeps me alive. But its you who keeps me smiling.”

“You know that place between sleep and awake? The place where you can still remember dreaming. That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.”-Peter Pan

“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.”

“Love me without fear. Trust me without wondering. Love me without restrictions. Want me without demand. Accept me how I am. And if you give me a chance, if you give ‘us’ a chance… I’m going to live for the time being proving to you, you made the right decision.” 

“Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect.”

“The most interesting thing about heart transplant is that one completely loses his own heart and be replaced with someone else’s, yet still has the feelings for the same person he loves. This proves that love works in the minds of people and not in their hearts. Bottom line is that, love is a state of mind. You’ll learn how to forget only if you try doing so.”-Grey's Anatomy

“We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reason, but one thing is for sure, mistakes help us to find the right person.”  

“Every girl has three guys in here life; one she loves, one she hates, and one she can’t live without. They’re all the same guy.”

“To love someone is nothing, to be loved by someone is something, but to be loved by someone you love is everything!” 

“And when it’s you and me, I seem to forget about reality.” 

“Love is living your own life, but sharing it. It’s forgiveness. It’s making a million mistakes and turning them into learning experiences. Love is patience, optimism, and sometimes it’s a kiss when there is nothing left to say.”

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.” 

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life and love shouldn’t be one of them.” 

“Sometimes you meet someone and before you know their name, before you know where they’re from. You know that sometime in the future, this person is going to mean something to you.” 

“We tend to fall in love the same way we get sick; without wanting to, without believing it, against our will, and unable to defend ourselves. And then we lose love exactly the same way.” 

“When you really matter to someone, that person will always make time for you. No excuses, no lies, and no broken promises.” 

“Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you."

“When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them, and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.” 

“Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.” 

“You can’t tell someone you love them and then change your mind. That’s not how it works. Once you love someone, you’ll always love them. Isn’t there a part of you that thinks of him for no reason? They’ll always be in the back of your mind. And no matter how much you love someone else, you’ll always love them too.” 

“Every girl wants to hear her guy say, ‘The next girl I’ll ever love, will be our daughter.’” 

“Someone worth having is someone worth waiting for.” 

“I don’t need drugs, I want to be high on life with an overdose of you.” 

“A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate. The one you can tell your dreams to. He’ll brush the hair out of your eyes. Send you flowers when you least expect it. He’ll stare at you during the movies, even thought he paid $8 to see it. He’ll call to say goodnight or just because he is missing you. He’ll look in your eyes and tell you, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world, and for the first time in your life, you’ll believe it.”-Nicholas Sparks

“Don’t choose the one whose beautiful to the world, but rather, the one who makes your world beautiful.” 

“It’s about learning to love someone just as much as you love yourself. Getting to know someone better so you can discover who you are along the way. Accepting their flaws so you realize that no one is perfect. Sacrificing for them so you won’t be accustomed to being selfish. Giving each other faith to make their dreams into a reality. Filling in that empty gap so they can finally feel like a whole.” 

“Love isn’t about finding ‘the one’ — it’s about giving yourself to someone who will love you for who you are.” 

“I want a person who comes into my life by accident and stays on purpose.” 

“I do not care what car you drive or where you live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this year’s cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. If you are A-List, B-List or never heard of you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind.” 

“If you truly loved someone, they would be worth the risk. No hesitations. No excuses.” 

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” 

“I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.” 

“If you love someone more than anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart.”  

“Find a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest.” 

“You get in the biggest fights with the people you care the most about because those are the relationships you are willing to fight for.”

“Love is like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”

Never lost

"People who are meant to be together will always find their way back to each other. They may take detours in life, but they’re never lost."

Some thoughts of mine...

I'm dying to say what I'm feeling inside but to say what I'm feeling inside out loud might make me cry in front of you and I'm not ready for that.

I feel like I'm in my own personal hell right now...

Numbness is starting to take over... It feels like I'm on my own brand of novacane.

I never needed to smoke anything to feel high. All I needed was to be next to you.

I wonder if you ever felt the same way I did for you... 

No one really dies, unless you let them die in your heart.

Some quotes About Regret...

"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."

"Sometimes we know we shouldn't and that's exactly why we do."

"Live your life without regret, don't be someone who they'll forget."

"Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

"Never regret something that once made you smile."

"You shouldn't regret anything that you say, because it was what you were feeling at the moment."

"If I could take it all back I wouldn't. Don't live in regret."

"Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash! Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Get revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell the asshole what you feel. Let someone know what they're missing. Laugh til your stomach hurts. LIVE LIFE!"

"Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever."

"Sometimes the littlest thing in life changes something forever and there will be times when you wish you can go back to how things used to be but you just can't because things have changed so much."

"When loving someone, never regret what you do, only regret what you don't do."

"You only live once, so do everything twice."

"Never regret anything, because at one point you wanted it."

"If I could go back in time and fix all the mistakes I made, I wouldn't because it has made me who I am today."

"Just because someone messes up once doesn't mean that within time they can't find a way to change for the better."

"If you never take chances in life youll miss out on the best things."

"I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes."

"I'm a firm believer that sometimes its right to do the wrong thing."

"There are no mistakes in life, only lessons."

"The greatest risk in life is not taking one."

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate you friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is no end."

"Chances are so hard to come by and the second one is impossible to find."

"You gotta take some chances, you gotta risk losing it all, you gotta close your eyes and leap because it might be worth the fall."

"Never say sorry for something you meant to do."

"Just because someone tells you that you can't do something doesn't mean you have to listen."

Some Taylor Swift & Rascal Flatts lines....

Taylor Swift

"I love how you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something. There's not a day I won't miss those rude interruptions." ♥

"I don't know how to be something you miss."

"This is me praying that this was the very first page,not where the story line ends.
My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again. These are the words I held back as you were leaving too soon...I was enchanted to meet you."

"Don't you worry you pretty little mind. People throw rocks at things that shine."

"Life makes love look hard." 

"Long live the walls we crashed through." 

"Miscommunications lead to fall-out."

"I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."

Rascal Flatts <3

"Why does everything have to go from good to gone?"

"God Bless the broken road that led me straight to you."

"Sometimes 2 hearts can dance to the same beat."

Here comes the regret...Here comes good bye...

*Regret-to feel sorrow or remorse for an act, fault, or disappointment;to think of with a sense of loss.

I spoke the words first. I told you how I felt,even though I didn't think I should have. Your situation was different than mine. You had only recently been broken where as I had had years to heal. Was I afraid to tell you how I felt...? No I wasn't. What was the worst that could've happened? You didn't feel the same? Yea that would've been the worst but I could then know I tried and I could get over it without regretting never saying it. Instead,you shared my feelings and our new found friendship became much more,fast. Before I start to sound selfish,I don't regret what we became. I don't regret the weeks we did have together or the time we spent. I don't regret the kisses,jokes, and laughs we shared. I'll never forget them or you. I do,however,wonder if any of it would have happened if I never told you my feelings? Would we still have ended up where we are right now? Did I just start it up a little sooner by speaking out? Was it fate? If it was fate,I wonder how it would've started without me telling you my feelings first. Will we have another chance?...somewhere later on,down the line? I can only hope so. I can only hope so because soon you'll be gone. As much as I don't want you to,I hope that you reasons for going pay off...that some stress is lifted off your shoulders. Secretly and selfishly,I hope you don't find another me too soon,partly because I know I won't find another you and maybe I don't want to. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that we have another chance later on,in the future. I'll be hoping this isn't completely over. I'll be hoping this isn't good-bye. So I'll say good bye for now...

Over...????

It hasn't even happened yet.You haven't even left,but it already feels over.I already miss you so much.You're only blocks away as I write this.My heart hurts to know that you'll be leaving soon-2 weeks from now you'll be miles away from me. It's a definite though,you're leaving.Visiting unfortunately won't do justice. There was definite potential in what we had,you said it and I felt it,but now that potential is gone.There's not much potential in a long distance love affair. You say you have to go,it's not that you want to...part of me knows that true but I wish it wasn't. I wonder if I'm one of your reasons for wanting to stay... I know what you're priorities are and that this isn't one of them right now and I didn't expect it to be. I saw you since. I wondered if it would feel different seeing you after the news. I wondered if knowing that it would soon be over would change the feeling...it hasn't. It just makes seeing you harder because in the back of my mind all I see is you leaving. I wanna see you again but that's only one side of me. The other side doesn't know if I should still see you. Do I risk getting more close and attached to you? Risk my feelings getting stronger for you? or Do I stop it all right now? Make it easier for myself when you leave? Waste the last bit of time we may have together? Could this really be good-bye for good? Or just good-bye for now? My mind is racing with some many thoughts. I don't know how to feel. I feel like I'm losing something that I never truly had and you can't lose something you never had,right? I don't know what to do or where to turn. How,in such a small amount of time,did you become such a big part of my day and life? ...A part I don't want to be without yet... But I guess,just like everything else in life,I have to deal,get over it, and move on. I'll miss you though... </3

A Part from 'When the Sands Runs Out' by Rascal Flatts

I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here....

After getting some sad news,turned to the quotes....

"Giving up doesnt always mean you are weak, sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go" 

"Read the story of her scars; They tell more then she is willing to..."

"A woman never knows when to say goodbye; a man never knows how to say it."

"A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again."

"Just Because You Paint The Picture It Doesn't Always Mean It's Going To Fit The Frame...."

"My scars are the screams that nobody can hear."

‎"I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain."

"Its so weird how easy it is for you to fall for someone, but how hard they make it seem to catch you."

"It's so much easier pretending to be happy than actually being happy.."

  

"The reason why I don't even try compromising when it comes to you is because no matter how much I try, it's not good enough for you."

"It's nice seeing someone who you haven't seen in such a long time. But what sucks the most is having to say goodbye."

 "Sometimes waiting for the right moment could leave you waiting forever."

"I may hate to go to sleep because I can't sleep alone but I hate waking up because it means another day alone. Can I just fall asleep and stay in my dreams?"

Afraid...????

“Reality of fear: You’re not scared of the dark; you’re scared of what’s in it. You’re not afraid of heights; you’re afraid of falling. You’re not afraid of the people around you; you’re afraid of rejection. You’re not afraid to love; you’re just afraid of not being loved back. You’re not afraid to let go; you’re just afraid of accepting the fact it’s gone. You’re not afraid to let go; you’re afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.”

Some words for life...

"You can not find yourself by looking at your reflection but rather looking through it."

"The words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest."

  

"Words can break someone into a million pieces but they can also put them back together,hopefully you'll use yours for good cause the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone."

"Grow stronger from the pain, don't let it destroy you."

"Anger comes from deep sadness".

"Hate crimes are the scariest thing in the world because these people really believe what they're doing is right."-Cher

"A bad mistake becomes a good lesson if you choose to learn from it."

"You become a coward long enough, eventually and inevitably you lose everything."

Some Lyrics by Say Anything...

* "If you think I’m being harsh...Well, baby, keep on counting stars." *

"Life is not a spark in space,an episode of Will and Grace-controversial yet mundane." ♥

"Where is the present in the way that you present yourself?"

"It's disgusting how little that you try:The existential equivalent of pink eye."

"You'd burn so brightly in the dark ♥ You could do better. You could be the greatest man in the world!"

"She's like a Wal-Mart version of me." ♥

"Band-Aids. Two infected Band-Aids.That's all we were to each other." </3

"He's not like the other guys i meet. I'm sure he's always keen to listen and the words he sings so sweet." ♥

"Let me tell you about the love I have cause it's growing by the moment and I'd murder you to hold his hand."

Some words for the sad hearts...

"I never knew how bad love could hurt, until I let myself believe you felt it too..."

"She smashed her mirror because she really wanted to see what she would look like when he broke her." </3

"People say the worst thing is when the person you love, doesn't love you back. But I think the worst thing is when you tell that person you love them, and they don't believe you." </3

"You gotta love me for who I am and not for who you would like me to be."

"It usually starts with a perfect kiss then you shortly start to feel the poison set in!"

"I knew the meaning of infinite when I tried explaining my love for you." 

"Sometimes it's okay, if the only thing you did today, was breath."

"You're a victim of your own mind."

"We try to control the world....we try to have it our own way...but we soon realize...there is no our way...things just happen and there's nothing we can do about them...they hurt and we cry but we cant change them...."

"Yes, I've made mistakes.Life doesn't come with instructions."

"I speak because I have a voice, u never listen to me because there is another voice which speaks to you."

"She hurts and she cries, but you can't see the depression in her eyes, cause she just smiles."

"Its this pink mushy heart-shaped thing in my chest. It has glitches when your gone,it goes crazy when your you step out of the room and beats fast when your near. If only my brain followed it around to make sure it didn`t get hooked on something stupid."

"And I blame only myself for falling so hard, so fast, so many times. I spoke of love when it did not exist."

"I've seen what love can do to a person, Even worse I've felt it .."

"No I'm not heartless, I just learned to use my heart less .."

"The problem with love: You can love whoever you want, but so can they..."

"Never give your all to someone, if they only give you 50% back"

"Take me away from my boring life,to his promised land."

Don't Take Someone Else's Rights Away...

Don't like gay marriages? Don't get one... Don't like cigarettes? Don't smoke them...Don't like abortions? Don't get one... Don't like sex? Don't have it... Don't like drugs? Don't do them... Don't like porn? Don't watch it... Don't like alcohol? Don't drink it... Don't like guns? Don't buy one... Don't like your rights taken away??? Don't take away someone else's. Spread this around, if you agree.

Tomorrow is promised to No One.

I always say that every time something good comes my way,it comes with a side of shit,and guess what? It's happening again. I wish I could move and start all over again-fresh and new...somewhere where no one knows me. Would that really help or would my problems just be waiting for me over there too? I think they will. Will I end up having the same luck? I think I will. There's no permanent escape from your life or your problems other than death. That's not the escape I want. I just want change. Change of scenery,surroundings,personalities, and agendas. A new change of pace will do me good. Easier said than done when everything is considered. Who can truly just get up and leave everything that they know in hopes that things will be better elsewhwere? Not many,but I wish I could. Nothing is promised to anyone. You can be here today and gone tomorrow-before you even know what's coming. Tomorrow is promised to no one. I have nothing except for now and my now can end in minutes... Wishing for a better today and a better tomorrow and even a better yesterday and I'm keeping my eyes on the sky...

Question Existing by Rihanna = Amazing song

Take off my shirt.
Loosen the buttons and undo my skirt,
Stare at myself in the mirror
Take me apart piece by piece,
Sorrow decrease
Pressure release, I put in work
Did more than called upon, More than deserved
When it was over, Did I wind up hurt (Yes)?
But it taught me before a decision ask this question first

[Chorus:]
Who am I living for?
Is this my limit?
Can I endure some more?
Chances are given, Question Existing
Who am I living for?
Is this my limit?
Can I endure some more?
Chances are given, Question Existing

Take off my coat,
show them that under here,
I'm just like you do the mistakes,
I may make me a fool or a human with flaws,
admit that I'm loss
Round of applause,
Take the abuse
Sometimes it feels like they want me to lose
It's entertainment is that an excuse? (No)
But the question that lingers whether "win or lose"

[Chorus]

Dear Diary,
It's Robyn
Entertaining is something I do for a living
It's not who I am, I'd like to think that I'm pretty normal,
I laugh, I get mad, I hurt, I think
Guys suck sometimes,
But when you're in the spotlight,
Everything seems good,
Sometimes I feel like i have it worst cause I have to always keep my guard up,
I don't know who to trust, I don't know who wants to date me for who I am,
Or who wants to be my friend for who I really am.

Some more amazing quotes...

“Everything you can imagine is real.”

“Sometimes going too far is the only way to go.”

“You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.”

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right."

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else."

“You’ve got to let go of the stuff from past – because it just doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.”

"Your smile determines how you see and think about the world around you."

“If you fight like you’re married, talk like best friends, and flirt like first loves, you’re meant to be.”

“If you love some, you’ll be willing to give up everything for them. But if they love you, they’ll never ask you too.”

“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.”

“You have to hurt in order to know. Fall in order to grow. Lose in order to gain. Because most of life’s lessons are learned in pain.”

"The shit you hear about me might be true, then again, it could be as fake as the bitch who told you."

“Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.”

“Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But they will never be you.”

“A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her.” - Marilyn Monroe

“The heart wants what it wants – or else it does not care.” Emily Dickinson

“Be a girl with a mind, a bitch with an attitude, and a lady with class.”

“I’ve learned… that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.”

“I’ve learned… that true friendship continues to grow even over the longest distance.”

“I’ve learned… that my best friend and I can do anything, or nothing, and have the best time.”

“It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end.”

“Life is like a coin. You spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.”

“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.”

"Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one lives forever."

-Some great quotes brought to us by quotelicious.com

 

Sometimes you risk it all...

Sometimes you put yourself out there and you risk it all. Sometimes it pays off and unfortunately sometimes it breaks you and you just have to take it,deal,learn from it,get over it and last but not least take time to heal from it. We all go through our ups and downs,that much is true. What really counts is how it all turns out in the end and what kind of person you become after all the lessons life teaches you. Remember though, above all, don't blame people for the mistakes of others because you may really only be hurting yourself in the end. By all means though be cautious before you give someone too much power over you or trusting them. Don't get too blinded and excited too soon when something good starts,give it time. Also though,don't be too shock if that person or thing surprises you by turning out amazing. Don't assume or rush or doubt anything or anyone without giving it time and getting all the facts. If you feel a certain type of way about something remember this, communication is key. Talk to the person you're having issues with because it is the only thing that will truly help. Don't talk to someone who has nothing to do with it and don't try and talk yourself off a ledge. It won't get you anywhere and neither will silence.

Some lines I really like from songs

-My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with.
  
-Well you're just as I presumed a whore in sheep's clothing fucking up all I do!

-Yesterday I fell in love,Today feels like my funeral. 
-How do you heal a heart that can't feel it's broken?

-I know I'm not perfect,but at the end of the day,who is?

-I was perfect,for the circus,if he dared me I'd do it,love makes you stupid.I gave it up, but I guess it was not enough,cause he never seemed satisfied.

Love is...

Love is blind...but unfortunately sometimes it's deaf,dumb, and blind.

Dedicated to me by my girl Kam.

There's people who can make you smile; some others who can make you cry; But it takes someone special to make you smile with tears in your eyes. <3

Some new quotes by me:

-Liking someone hurts...hence why we call it a crush... 

-There comes a time in everyone's life where you just need to stop,look at everything and decide what's really worth it.

-A confused mind is the worst kind...

 

Some personalized horoscopes I've had.

-Your producing real results,as evidence will prove today. Keep your confidence.

-Things are rushed today,so there's no time for hesitation.

Some Lady GaGa quotes...

-"I’ve had enough.This is my prayer,that I’ll die living just as free as my hair."

-"I’ve learned love is like a brick you can build a house or sink a dead body."

-"Don't hide yourself in regret.Just love yourself and you're set.I'm on the right track, baby.I was born this way."

-"Mi amore vole fe yah" (Love needs faith)

-"When I'm on a mission,I rebuke my condition.If you're a strong female,you don't need permission."

-"Love is objectified by what men say is right. Bullshit be mine!"

-"Don't be insecure if you heart is pure."

Some Quotes I found...

-Society asks for the "perfect" People, but what is the true definition of "perfect"? And does "perfect" really exist?

-Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish it.

-Have you ever thought that if one thing hadn't happened, a whole set of things wouldn't have either. Like dominoes in a time, a single event kicked off a series of changes. Don't ever doubt that a mere second can change your life forever.

-If you didn't see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth.

-If laughter is the best medicine then a day without laughter is a day wasted.

-Don't pursue happiness, create it.

Found at:   www.poems-and-quotes.com

My name on the Urban Dictionary!

So I just looked up my name in the Urban Dictionary & this is what it said-No lie!:
(1)Hottest girl in the known universe
(2)A very beautiful person inside&out.Will always make u laugh&give u a hug before u even know u need 1!Can be some what blunt. But at least u know she is truthful.Very sweet & easy to talk to.Loves the color pink&loves her family more than anything else!High morals.She sets her own ground.
(3)Absolutely, without a doubt beautiful.A person everyone loves and cares for.A girl with breath taking eyes, Eyes you could stare into forever and never tired of.
(4)Melissa is the coolest kid that has EVER graced the Earth. Most Melissas are ridiculously attractive and have many a boys wishing to bang them, crazy cowboy style. Melissas are also very generous and caring, often times taking care of their overly wasted friends, who while are entertaining, are prone to running away and getting searched by police. Melissas are also intensly smart and their brain power is like superheroic. COOL BEANS :)A Melissa is one of the best things anyone could ever have, like ever
(5)The kind of girl who has beautiful eyes. And is super beautiful. There aren't any guys who don't think she is. She loves long relationships and wants to fall in love with the right person. Is very caring, and will never hurt you. She may make mistakes, but in the long run, she is the best thing you will ever have.

This is scary because some of these things really fit me...! LMFAO!

Men or should I say Silly Little Boys???

Why is it that men or should I say "boys" are so intimidated by strong females? Why must a dude turn a decision that a strong female makes into something dirty or to something that makes them feel or look better? Dudes are supposed to 'wear the pants',they need to start proving why the statement became relevant. I don't understand,if a dude gets embarassed by getting turned down then don't tell anyone anything about it. Just take it yourself as a mission u didn't complete or a game you failed or a silent loss and get over it. Instead they say something to someone about this incident,it gets back to the other party involved, and then what happens? You look like a sad,weak,pathetic liar who's mad because you got turned down by a chick.Sorry guys,but if you're messing with me,you're messing with the wrong female. I'm strong forreal. No Fakeness here,you won't find it.

Real story- I turned you down for your lame attempts at booty calls more then once,you turned it around and said I can't handle you but it's not true. I just don't want you-never did and never will. Sorry. Unfortunately though,for you,your spot got blown,you got laughed at and now you have to get over it. Toodles 'til next time.

Love may be blind...

Love may be blind but I won't let it make a fool out of me.

Believe me.

Believe me when I say that I am not a hater,I'm a realist!

You see...

You don't see things as they are...You see things as you are.

A few lines from Walk Away by Christina Aguilera

"I was naive, your love was like candy,
Artificially sweet, I was decieved by the wrapping.
Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed.
I was prey in your bed and devoured completely"

A few lines from Love Me For Me by Ashlee Simpson

"I've been waiting all my life to finally find you,
Just so I can push you away.
And when you're crawling over broken glass to get to me,
That's when I'll let you stay!"

A quote that has a serious meaning to me:

"Love is the slowest form of suicide."

There's a lot of mixed feelings and different meanings that people get from this quote. It has a very important,serious, and special meaning to me. To me,it means that, with everything you experience,learn, and go through in a relationship,it stays with you for the next one. It changes you. It makes you look at everything over and investigate more. You'll look for things that wouldn't before based on what has happened to you and don't ever think that's a bad thing. It's lessons like that,that make you smarter,stronger,help you find what you really want for yourself in life and in your future relationships, and grow as a person. I can even go as far as to say that part of you-the part that was hurt and /or fooled, dies and whoever it was that hurt you,takes that piece of you with them. A lot of times, you probably won't get those pieces of yourself back but with time, the internal scars will heal and one day you'll wake up and your heart will be intact. I hope that you find that one special person to help you heal a little faster along the way. You should also know that you'll always come out stronger in the end of it all.

My Favorite Marilyn Monroe quote

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Quote from "A Walk to Remember"

Find who you are and do it on purpose.

Some quotes from 'Why Did I Get Married Too?'

"It's hard to appreciate a good man after having a bad one but it's even harder to be a good woman after she's had a bad man."

"I wanna be loved not tolerated."

"You can only fight with someone who's willing to get in the ring with you."

Part of "Dile Al Amor" by Aventura

"Tell love not to knock on my door,
And that I'm not home,
And not to come tomorrow.
With my heart they have failed in occasions,
So I left for vacation,
Far away from love.
Tell love that it is not welcome in my life.
Give it my good byes."

As much as you might love someone...

As much as you might love someone, it's fun to watch them fall on their face sometimes.

A line from the movie "Perfect Man"

The "Perfect Man" is a beautiful idea but you can't grow old with a beautiful idea.

What I want in a guy...

I want a guy that will not only fight with me but will fight for me.

A Few Lines from I Hate Love by LiL Wayne

"I don’t wanna love no more, spare me.
You can have my heart its only dead beat.
I’m sick of the love songs and the bullshit.
When reality bites like a wolf."

"Good Guys"...?

So guys say girls push the good guys away but who says that all these guys that say it fall into the 'good guy' category? Every girl has their own idea of 'the' good guy for them and if you don't fit,then you don't fit. Better luck next time. But if you are an honest to God good guy, that doesn't mean there's chemistry between you and said girl. You can't just fake that stuff fellas.

Strength in me...

Never will I ever let a man strike me. The strength in me would never allow it.

Lupe Fiasco quote

A match made in heaven set the fires in hell.

Why am I single?

Why am I single? Because I've been in a relationship with myself for 23 years and that's the one that's most important so until I find someone who can give me competition that's when I'll reconsider.

Quote from the show Skins

I'm not in a relationship because no one matches up to me.

Journey

All the things that are good and strong in me come from where my journey began.

Quote from To Sir With Love

Guys only like sluts for so long. Only the worst of guys will marry one.

Quote by Ellen Hopkins

When the door to love opens,the window to control closes.

Stay Away...

Stay away from those that are "heaven on the eyes but hell on the heart".

Where I Stand As A Female As Of Now....

No one really understands how I think and feel now. When people ask me why I'm single,I don't really know how to answer because for me there's so many reasons. It's such a loaded question. I have issues I have to work through and I know this. I'm scared,scratch that,I'm terrified of getting hurt again. I know this is going to sound totally cliche but I'm damaged goods. I'm not only afraid of getting my heart broken but I'm scared,truly scared,of even being alone with a dude that I don't know. So,in my lonesome, I think how can I meet a guy and get to know a guy if I'm terrified of being alone with a handsome stranger. Is he really bad? Is he really giving me bad vibes? Has he really done anything to me make me doubt him? He probably hasn't other than the things I make up in my imagination to save myself. "Save myself from what?",I ask myself. I'm fighting to save myself from getting hurt,getting too close,getting fooled,getting taken advantage of,getting my kindness taken for weakness, and so much more. I could lie and say that this is normal or smart but I know it isn't. I know I need to let these walls down eventually but for now fooling myself into thinking this is totally fine is keeping me content. Yes I'll admit,even with trying to talk myself into thinking it's normal to do what I'm doing,I seek help at times but I just can't find it. Nothing or no one seems to help. My problems are mental and can't be solved because I've been hurt,hurt like so many others have been. For me though,this hurt hits me so much deeper that people think. Even deeper than I thought it ever could have. It still stings everyday although I try not let the way I feel inside take over my life like others do but in reality its killing me.Most guys only come to want one thing from me and I'm afraid that its gonna start affecting the way I feel about myself and see myself. I'm on the fence about whether I feel too good for most guys now or not good enough for any guy. That's a big stretch,I know. It's crazy because I have high self esteem,and I'm very confident but question is "Have I made myself unreachable for anyone to get through to me?". I'm afraid I have. It seems as though it's going to take a really great,honest and different kind of guy to get through these walls I've built around my heart. Considering that not many guys seem to be able to handle or respect a strong female such as myself,that looks like it's going to take a very long time.

Consider this a final farewell to my past...

Dear Past,
I've been thinking a lot lately. All of this time I thought u ruined me.I thought you turned me into the difficult person I've become.This made me mad at u but it also made me glad because I thought it made me strong. Then I thought a little harder,I realized something else. You didn't make me strong. You did the opposite. You mad me weak. I was always strong. With you I was a weaker version of myself. I'm stronger now without you and 10 times stronger after you! So thank you for doing all that you did because now I'll never let anyone hurt me again! I'll never let anyone pull me down again. I'll never let another hold me back from anything or anyone. You made me feel small and maybe I let you but I'll never make that mistake again. Although I don't and never will regret you,I do wish that I could go back in time and correct the mistakes that were made. I wouldn't have let myself be drowned by my feelings for you because that is why all my problems began. In loving you,I lost myself. I only now realized though that the minute I lost you,I got myself back. Therefore, I gained way more than I lost. You are my past and I'm looking forward to my future...whatever it may bring. It can only,hopefully get better because there's no way I'm letting it get worse...

The Me Nobody Knew by Shannon McLinden

"Be careful not to fall fool for a quick fix. Up until then,I had been looking for an external peace-that's a 'quick fix'. I wanted to make my face prettier,my body leaner,my reputation stronger. I thought peace would come after I was beautiful,thin, and cool. What I figured out is that I needed to find an internal peace-a permanent fix. Pretty faces get wrinkles. Bodies gain weight. Reputations get killed by one tiny rumor. When you look back over the years,you see that 'cool' is something different every minute. I craved something solid."

This is a paragraph from the book called The Me Nobody Knew by Shannon McLinden that I really liked and respected.

Song of Despair by Pablo Neruda

The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!
Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.
In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.
You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!
It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.
Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!
In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!
I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.
Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.
There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.
There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.
Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!
How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.
Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.
Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.
Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.
And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.
This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!
Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!
From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.
You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.
Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!
It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.
The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.
Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.
Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.
It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!

Saddest Poem by Pablo Neruda

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."
The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
On nights like this, I held her in my arms.

I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.
To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.
What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.
That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.
As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.
The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.
I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.
Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.
Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.
Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

This is another great poem by Pablo Neruda. I love this poem.

Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz

or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as certain dark things are loved,

secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

This is my favorite poem by Pablo Neruda.

Smile.

You got to wake up every morning with a smile on your face to show the world all the love in your heart. ♥

"Strong females"= Extinct???

I hate when "strong" females become soft as jello when men get involved.Females that become like putty in their hands-like "yes,please mold me into another statistic and add me to the list of girls you've done this to before and when you done making a fool of me,be done with me." I have too many friends that have been treated like fools and I won't become one of them or watch it happen to another friend of mine. Please smarten up ladies...if things don't seem right from the start,if there's even a slight doubt in your minds,then run and never look back because more then likely there's something much better waiting for you elsewhere. Believe me,it's been proven to me many times and has saved me from a lot of jerks. Always remember this before you let yourself settle for someone: You are worth more...most of the time you're worth more then you think.

Smile???

Some people would be surprised with all that I hide behind my smile...

Silence

Once the silence has been there for a while,it's kinda hard to break it.

Who's still standing...

Its sucks when the lights go out but it all becomes worth it to see who's still standing there when they are turned back on.

No Such thing...

In real life,love stories are more like Romeo & Juliet rather than Cinderella and Snow White. There is no such thing as a happily ever after.