"You see the smile that's on my mouth... It's hiding the words that don't come out and all of my friends who think that I'm blessed... They don't know my head is a mess." - Brandi Carlile 'The Story'
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Thursday, April 18, 2013
"I'm not sad...."
"I’m not sad, but the boys who are looking for sad girls always find me. I’m not a girl anymore and I’m not sad anymore. You want me to be a tragic backdrop so that you can appear to be illuminated, so that people can say ‘Wow, isn’t he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously sad?’ You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I’ll swallow you whole.” -Warsan Shire
Love this!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Dear Friend or whatever you are/were,
Dear Friend or whatever you are/were.
Silently,I wondered and still wonder if I'm the problem. Did I do something,am I doing something to make you walk in and out of my life? Friendship should be easy,right? Instead,whatever this is between us,is so complicated. It doesn't have to be. You could have just stayed true to your original feelings...never kissed me. Would've saved a lot of confusion,a lot of in and out, a lot of sadness and a few tears,on my end anyway. I can't believe that for a split second,I was there again...where I was a few years ago. I promised myself I'd never get there again. Yet,I sorta was,except it wasn't as serious,except it was as serious, just didn't go as far, it still hurt, it hurt more in fact and still does. I guess I hide it well but I feel it all the time. I miss you,your company anyway. I'd be perfectly fine with just having that back. Maybe it's better that you stay away. Maybe your warning was right. You are trouble. Too bad your warning came too late. I can't help it though,that I really did and probably still would enjoy your company. You never failed to make me laugh. It's true,the ones you care for most,can definitely hurt you the deepest.
Question is: how someone can fake some things...such emotion...such passion... You acted like you never wanted me to leave. Kissed me so sweetly. Held me so tight. Woke up so warm in your arms...feeling content,happy. Yet,it's so easy for you to drop me,like I'm trash that you're trying to rid yourself of... I could blame myself,say I did something wrong,I'm not right, not good enough.. Really though,I know the truth. It's you. You're not good enough! You're wrong! What you've done to me and still doing,with no explanation, isn't fair. I've done nothing wrong since the beginning. I've been honest,nice...I've been myself all along. I've been there all along,through the flip-flopping. I've been here trying to be your friend. Nothing on my part to feel sorry about...or to feel sorry for. In the long run,I feel sorry for you. I only feel sorry that I believed you for the time I did,that you cared about me,didn't wanna hurt me or make me cry. You told me that. You lied! I never did. Remember that. I've had the same feelings the whole time. I've been the same person...the same person who cared/cares,the same person who felt/feels for you. Everything I've said and done has been real...true! You don't know what you're missing.
Sincerely,
The once true friend,you finally and totally lost.
P.S. Truly your loss!
Silently,I wondered and still wonder if I'm the problem. Did I do something,am I doing something to make you walk in and out of my life? Friendship should be easy,right? Instead,whatever this is between us,is so complicated. It doesn't have to be. You could have just stayed true to your original feelings...never kissed me. Would've saved a lot of confusion,a lot of in and out, a lot of sadness and a few tears,on my end anyway. I can't believe that for a split second,I was there again...where I was a few years ago. I promised myself I'd never get there again. Yet,I sorta was,except it wasn't as serious,except it was as serious, just didn't go as far, it still hurt, it hurt more in fact and still does. I guess I hide it well but I feel it all the time. I miss you,your company anyway. I'd be perfectly fine with just having that back. Maybe it's better that you stay away. Maybe your warning was right. You are trouble. Too bad your warning came too late. I can't help it though,that I really did and probably still would enjoy your company. You never failed to make me laugh. It's true,the ones you care for most,can definitely hurt you the deepest.
Question is: how someone can fake some things...such emotion...such passion... You acted like you never wanted me to leave. Kissed me so sweetly. Held me so tight. Woke up so warm in your arms...feeling content,happy. Yet,it's so easy for you to drop me,like I'm trash that you're trying to rid yourself of... I could blame myself,say I did something wrong,I'm not right, not good enough.. Really though,I know the truth. It's you. You're not good enough! You're wrong! What you've done to me and still doing,with no explanation, isn't fair. I've done nothing wrong since the beginning. I've been honest,nice...I've been myself all along. I've been there all along,through the flip-flopping. I've been here trying to be your friend. Nothing on my part to feel sorry about...or to feel sorry for. In the long run,I feel sorry for you. I only feel sorry that I believed you for the time I did,that you cared about me,didn't wanna hurt me or make me cry. You told me that. You lied! I never did. Remember that. I've had the same feelings the whole time. I've been the same person...the same person who cared/cares,the same person who felt/feels for you. Everything I've said and done has been real...true! You don't know what you're missing.
Sincerely,
The once true friend,you finally and totally lost.
P.S. Truly your loss!
Beauty is only skin deep...
Good looks with a shit personality is like a really pretty extravagant looking birthday cake with a filling you don't like...if you're gonna choose to eat the cake, it better taste as good as it looks. Point being, beauty is only skin deep. It takes much more to impress me.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Never Be Anyone's Possession
ATTENTION all ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please learn your worth!!!!!!!!!!
Don't ever allow yourselves to be treated like anyone's possession other than your own. Don't be talked down to. Don't be bossed around. Don't let anyone belittle you. You're not a this or a that! You should always demand respect! No one can ever make you be anything,say anything, or act any type of way unless you want to.
The minute anyone or any guy talks to me this way,I immediately back away. I know what I want,don't want,will and won't tolerate...and I will never tolerate that. I will never let anyone let me think or believe that I deserve less than I do. Strength in a female is beauty,no matter what anyone or any guy says or leads you to believe. Guys are scared of strong females because they're weak! Don't be weakness and don't let anyone else's weakness rule your life! Let your strength be stronger than anything else!
Wake up!!!!!
Pregnancy
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing when it's the right time with the right person. Some people really abuse this to where its become sad and too common. Some people do the right thing,all the right things,in the right order,and end up dealing with tragedies- can't conceive,can't carry to term,lose babies and then you have some people who do all the wrong things,at the wrong time with the wrong people and have beautiful outcomes. It's not their fault but it's not fair. They've turned pregnancy into an everyday thing,taking away all the beauty and amazement out of it. You won't be seeing me abusing the beautiful and amazing thing my body can do just because some guy says I'm pretty.
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