Adolescence

Adolescence is the beginning of the end because the moment you fall in love, you give away the best part of yourself.

From the book Triangles by Ellen Hopkins

Confusion is the worst...It ends tomorrow.

So what do you do when you like someone and you have no idea how they feel? When the signals were once there,but seem to have faded? Do you assume? Over-analyze? Drive yourself crazy wondering? Try to make yourself forget? Make yourself get over it? Just ask the other person? Sometimes,(scratch that)most of the time,those things are easier than that last one. What's there to be scared of,really? You should never be scared of spoken truths... only the words left unsaid. The things that go unnoticed. The feelings that go un-felt or unknown. You either let the confusion dwell....,until you feel strong enough,which may never happen. Or you take control of you own life and situation and do the mature,smart thing and ask. Speak your mind. Confusion is the worst? My state of confusion will end tomorrow. No more wondering,I'll just ask,get my answer, and be done with all the over analyzing,wondering, and confusion. Tomorrow...tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow I'll be brave.

The Heart of a Woman

The heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man.

Never be Punished

I will never be punished for the frustrations of an insecure man.

"I Don't Give A Shit" list

I can't stress this enough,when I say that I HATE!!!!! when dudes talk down to me. Please please please tell me,that this doesn't work other than in Fifty Shades of Grey. The minute,no the second that a dude tries to control or tell me what to do,I get so aggrivated that I almost immediately put them on the "I Don't Give A Shit" list. There's the warning and I only give it once. I have a mind of my own and if you don't like it,that's just too damn bad.

I know who I am and what I want. Sorry for those of you who don't

So,I've been told that I give dudes too much credit or the benefit of the doubt because I give dudes a chance. Is it wrong that I sort of believe that there are good dudes out there even though they're rare? I don't think I'm wrong. Maybe because I have 4 great guy friends...that right there tells me that good guys do exist. Female friends said that I still believe in the "fairy tale" story so to speak. I don't see it that way. Maybe I just have faith or want to have faith because I do want something real. Is there something wrong with that? I do want a guy,a guy that's real and can be my best friend,boyfriend,other half-someone I can share my time with. I do want something real. Do I need it here and now? No,I dont and I refuse to go spending all my time looking for it. I'd rather let it find me. I still think I'm strong and I don't think my faith in something real changes that. If I end up being wrong,then I am and I learn from it and move on and use it to better my future. That just makes me stronger. I won't sacrifice myself to benefit anyone else. I come first above all else. But I believe that you can't get anything with giving in a little bit. I'll continue to have faith and I know I deserve something good and it will come to me. As long as I know me and who I am and what I want then I'll be fine. I think maybe I just show different sides of myself...one side in front of my female friends and one in front of guys. Of course I'm gonna show guys that they can't mess with me,whereas I'm gonna show a softer side to my female friends because the softer side is part of me. The guys that come in and out of my life don't deserve that side of me yet. When trust comes,trust that I have for them,then they'll get to see that side of me. My friends,whether male or female,deserve to see and know every side of me and they do see both. I dont think that makes me weak. I think I'm strong and even stronger to admit it. I know who I am,truly. I'm sorry for those of you who don't and just follow others and trends. I follow no one.

Shake it out...

"Regrets collect like old freiends...here to relive you darkest moments..." - Florence and the Machine

Too Cynical...? Please!

I've been told that I'm too cynical. I don't think that at all. I just think that I'm strong and I'm smart. I'm not stupid,weak,or naive. If a dude thinks that being strong and smart makes me cynical because I won't bow down to him and/or let just anyone in then I'll take it. I'd rather be a hard-headed,cynical bitch than a stupid little delicate excuse for a female in this day and age. Strong/Smart females are hard to find so if and/or when you find one you should treasure her because we're the last of a dying breed and one day you'll have to visit a museum to see what a real lady looks like...

The last line is a little reference from Behold A Lady by OutKast

Realize what you have...

The best time to realize what you have is while you have it, not after.

Silent tears

Silent tears always speak...

You can't fool yourself

You can act like there's nothing wrong,you can even fool the world of it but you can never fool yourself that there is.

So many locks,not enough keys...

Its a lot easier to be lost than found. It's the reason we're always searching and rarely discovered so many locks,not enough keys.

Weak spot? Everyone has one.

Everyone has their weak spot. One thing that,despite your best efforts,will always bring you to your knees regardless of how strong you are otherwise.

Complete waste

You seemed like a good idea at the time,no doubt.... but you ended up being a COMPLETE waste of time! No big surprised there!

AMEN to strength!!!

I was not born or raised weak so don't ever expect me to act like it. I'm not acting tough,I am tough...Now toast to all the bitches,lames,losers and douche-bags that made me this way! AMEN!!!!!!

Knowing what I want isn't being too picky...

I 've been told lately that I'm too picky. Since when does knowing what you want and don't want make you too picky. I'm not sorry that I'm strong and that I won't settle for less than I'm worth. I'm not sorry if my strength bothers you. I am sorry,however, that you're weak and that it's sad. I'm sorry that you don't think you deserve more in life. I'm just at a point in my life where I'm getting too old for games,for playing around. I'm on my grown woman status...I'm not a kid anymore.

Method to my madness...

There's always a method to my madness. I know when a dude is real or not. So if you've been trying to talk to me for a long time and you haven't gotten anywhere with me it's because I'm not stupid! Sorry you got the wrong girl. It takes more then you telling me I'm pretty to get me.

Fake people...Not me,I don't deal with them.

I hate when people make you out to be the bad guy and then ask about you later when they run into someone who knows you. You obviously didn't care enough when you cut me off for no reason so why would you care enough 7 months later? Go screw yourself. I shut fake people down with a quickness!

Believe in Love...???

Believe me when I say that I do believe in love. I just don't think it rules the world or should be the main thing. I love myself,my family,and my friends. They are all I need.

The best you never had...

I still wonder how someone who had nothing when I met them could still,to this day,think they're better than me... Think they're too good for me. You might be trying to make yourself believe that to be true,but anyone who knows the real truth,knows you're full of it. One day you will regret it,when you really see the kind of people are out there,when you realize what you had in me and what you could have still had. One day you'll look back and label me as the one you played,the one you messed up with,the one you hurt,the one you let slip through your fingers. You'll label me as the one you let get away. I'll be the best thing you never had. Letting me go will became the biggest mistake you ever made!!!!

Bad in people...

If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you certainly will.- Abe Lincoln

Lies run....

Lies run sprints, but truth runs marathons.

Your best friend...

Falling for your best friend really is the best person to fall for... The best relationships really do spring from friendship...because there's no surprise as to who that person is and who they have always been. Because you know them with all their faults,likes, & dislikes. Because you know who they truly are and how they think. Because they know you,who you truly are and love you just as that. Because you don't have to pretend with them or impress them. Because you already love them 100%,for longer and far beyond anyone you could ever meet in the future and they love you the same. If you have a friend like that,how could you ask for anything more in a partner? What could you ask for?

Who Am I?

Who Am I? I am strength. I am confidence. I am beauty. I don't need anyone's validation...I am my own validation. Can you break me? Nope,you can't and you never will...

Why don't I have a boyfriend...?

So I got asked why I didn't have a boyfriend the other day and this is what I answered...

Because I'm in a very committed relationship with myself that I have been in for 24 years and no one can love me better or as much as I love myself. So it's gonna take a really special,amazing and different kind of guy to change that!

The red thread is so much shorter when you're near...

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,regardless of time, place, or circumstance.The thread may stretch or tangle,but it will never break....- an ancient Chinese belief

Too long...

It's been way too long since I've posted on this blog but I will be posting more starting again now.