Dear Friend or whatever you are/were,

Dear Friend or whatever you are/were.

Silently,I wondered and still wonder if I'm the problem. Did I do something,am I doing something to make you walk in and out of my life? Friendship should be easy,right? Instead,whatever this is between us,is so complicated. It doesn't have to be. You could have just stayed true to your original feelings...never kissed me. Would've saved a lot of confusion,a lot of in and out, a lot of sadness and a few tears,on my end anyway. I can't believe that for a split second,I was there again...where I was a few years ago. I promised myself I'd never get there again. Yet,I sorta was,except it wasn't as serious,except it was as serious, just didn't go as far, it still hurt, it hurt more in fact and still does. I guess I hide it well but I feel it all the time. I miss you,your company anyway. I'd be perfectly fine with just having that back. Maybe it's better that you stay away. Maybe your warning was right. You are trouble. Too bad your warning came too late. I can't help it though,that I really did and probably still would enjoy your company. You never failed to make me laugh. It's true,the ones you care for most,can definitely hurt you the deepest.

Question is: how someone can fake some things...such emotion...such passion... You acted like you never wanted me to leave. Kissed me so sweetly. Held me so tight. Woke up so warm in your arms...feeling content,happy. Yet,it's so easy for you to drop me,like I'm trash that you're trying to rid yourself of... I could blame myself,say I did something wrong,I'm not right, not good enough.. Really though,I know the truth. It's you. You're not good enough! You're wrong! What you've done to me and still doing,with no explanation, isn't fair. I've done nothing wrong since the beginning. I've been honest,nice...I've been myself all along. I've been there all along,through the flip-flopping. I've been here trying to be your friend. Nothing on my part to feel sorry about...or to feel sorry for. In the long run,I feel sorry for you. I only feel sorry that I believed you for the time I did,that you cared about me,didn't wanna hurt me or make me cry. You told me that. You lied! I never did. Remember that. I've had the same feelings the whole time. I've been the same person...the same person who cared/cares,the same person who felt/feels for you. Everything I've said and done has been real...true! You don't know what you're missing.

Sincerely,
The once true friend,you finally and totally lost.

P.S. Truly your loss!